Top 10 Ways to Get Lucky at Love - Kathryn Lord

Are you still searching for THAT true love? Well here are some tips I found. What do you think of them?

1. Know what you want. Your looks change and fade, character does not. While a certain amount of "chemistry" is nice, don't rely solely on lust. What qualities are you looking for in a mate? My book "Find a Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women" helps readers define their love goals.
2. Get clear about what you don't want. Knowing what you really can't tolerate in a partner is important. Make a list of your "don't wants" and then cut it down to the 10 most important. Any more than that and you'll be too picky.
3. Live your life. Once you know clearly what you want (and don't want) in a relationship, shift your focus to living your life. You'll find that you start noticing those who might fit, and passing by those who don't.
4. See the big picture. Don't try so hard that you miss the obvious. If you are great at focusing, step back now and then and look at the big picture. Work on having a playful, whimsical attitude towards life.
5. Get out of the house. Cultivate opportunities to expand your social circle and meet new people. Vary your routine. Have you thought of entertaining to enlarge your social circle? My new ebook "Looking for Action? The Find a Sweetheart Party Planner" tells you how to throw parties to build a wonderful group of close friends - it's easy!
6. Open your eyes and your attitude. Lucky people notice, create and maximize chance opportunities. Chat with other shoppers while you are waiting in line. Be ready with a "calling card" -- a personal business-type card with basic contact information. (Want to know how to get calling cards for free? Email me for instructions).
7. Get curious. Don't content yourself with the obvious. Ask questions. Wonder why. Find answers.
8. Try something new. The best way to have things stay the same is to never do anything different. Vary your daily routine, just to keep yourself awake. Shake yourself up and notice what happens. Keep yourself open to chance opportunities, and then take advantage of them.
9. Expect good luck. Monitor your self-talk for negative messages that interfere with luck. Replace the negative thoughts with positives. Surround yourself with examples of lucky people.
10. Learn from bad luck. Take steps to prevent more bad luck from what you have learned, then let the "bad" go. Don't dwell on or rehash the bad experience. Look for the positive elements.

Kathryn Lord, romance coach and author, met her now husband Drew online. Out of the dating world for years, Kathryn conquered her fears, found her perfect mate and built a solid relationship. She put what she has learned into writing in "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women." A psychotherapist, Kathryn has been helping singles and couples for more than 25 years. She is on the web at Find-a-Sweetheart.com.

Friends...you mean so much to me

I am so happy today.

One of my best friends had called in to say hello. It has been quite a while that we talked to each other and at times, she made a few appearances in my dreams. I guess I was missing her so much. I do admit that we shared a lot of special moments...yes...we shared laughters and we shared tears.

GOD, I LOVE YOU.

YOU've allowed beautiful people into my life and I hope I will encounter more. People come and people go but my friends will always come back and will always be there when I need them. So my special friends, this is dedicated to you. You make my life so meaningful and I pray that GOD will also make your life beautiful. Thank you for coming into my life.

The Great Circle of Life

I had to fight back my tears as I was writing this piece. What happened to me a few days ago forced me into the agony of losing someone very close to my heart. On Wednesday, 29th May 2007, at 8.35am, my dearest grandma, who I called 'Tok', has peacefully left this world. Her death reminded me of my own mortality....that this world is merely a station before we reach our eternal destiny. Her life on the other hand reminded me that this world is a great examination hall, where everybody will be tested.

When my grandmother was bedridden for about two months ago, my mother set me the example of how a daughter should now take care of the mother. My mother sacrificed her sleep and rest to tend to my grandmother while at the same time tending to the needs of her father, her husband and her little adopted baby. Day and night, she would be beside my grandmother. She would make sure that my grandmother will have nothing to complaint about. Just as a mother would do to her baby, this time, I saw a grown-up child bathing, dressing, combing, feeding and taking care of the mother. A circle of maternal love was no doubt explicit here that I burst into tears and prayed to God so that one day, I will be able to do the same thing to my mother and father. My grandmother died with my mother at her side. Before she closed her eyes...she managed to carve a smile...

My grandmother was indeed a very special lady. Her petite physical build hid the tremendous strength she carried inside her. The wrinkles on her face used to tell 1001 stories of a person who has lived this life well.

Born into a very poor family back in the 1920's, my grandmother had to take care of her little brothers. She was barely 7 years old when their mother died. The mark that stretched from her neck down to her hips tells the story of a couragous sister who was burnt while trying to protect her brothers from a fire outbreak. She then had to lie on some banana leaves for months because of the severe burn.

I believe that life hardship has trained and prepared my grandmother to become a fighter. She was gifted with the ability to control her emotion and endure pain. Marrying my grandfather, for sure, was not an easy task. My grandfather is a typical traditional patriarchal figure. In his house, he is the King. Everything has to be prepared for him at his own convenience. Moreover, as a 'silat' (traditional martial art) guru, he was known for his fiery temper. I can still vividly remember how my grandmother used to wake up at 2am or 3am or whenever my garandfather got home from fishing just to prepare him, a hot cup of coffee. As time goes, I begin to admire the bond between my grandmother and my grandfather. To me, they are the epitome of a traditional couple who proved that money and material wealth do not define happiness. Their bond was solely based on trust, understanding and tolerance.

My grandmother was a lady of little rest. She didn't sleep that much. At times, she would clean the fish that my grandfather captured when others were fast asleep. She would sometimes burn the midnight oil to prepare the 'roti canai' dough or noodle for breakfast the next morning. She was the own who taught me how coffee beans are turned into coffee powder. I used to enjoy helping her pound the beans with a special tool made of thick blocks of woods.

When I reflect the time we spent together there are certain things that i regreted doing. Now that I have reached this age, I feel guilty and am angry at myself, for making my grandmother prepare 'henna' for my brothers, my sisters and I. Only then that I realised that the process was tedious. Just before sunset, she would pluck 'henna' branches. She would grind the 'henna' leaves by using a massive grinding stone. Then, she would mix it with some water and turned it into 'henna' paste. We would then circle around her and one after another, she patiently smoothed the paste onto our tiny fingers and toes. She would then cut plastic bags into small pieces and wrap it around our fingers. She will then tie strings (taken from pieces of old 'sarong') around our fingers. Only when all of our fingers and toes were securely wrapped, that we would go to bed. As I grew up, I sometimes wonder, why didn't my grandmother ever say no to people's wish? Why must she keep silent and obey all of my grandfather's order? Why must she succumb to our endless requests? Is that her way of showing her love for us...letting us know that she is willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of her loved ones? Now, when I look at how my daughter pesters my mother with her imploring eyes, I see the spitting image of myself. And the way my mother tries to fulfil my daughter's plea...reminds me of my grandmother. Will my grandaughter do the same thing to me? Will I be treating them the same way my grandmother and mother did?

But again...history repeats itself and that is my grandmother! Someone who has taught me a lot about living this life. May her 'ruh' be placed alongside other devoted believers.

No doubt that human beings are mortal. We will grow old...we will eventually leave this world. But what differentiates us is how well we've 'scored' in the 'test'. I am aware that challenges come in different faces but what is more important for me is whether I would be able to endure challenges with the kind of courage, patience and spirit displayed by my grandmother? Only God knows for He determines this circle of life. This circle will repeat. While there are some being born at this moment, some others are leaving this world.

"Tok, I am already tremendously missing you... Al-faatihah."